Teresa's post about running into a hot guy from high school has got me thinking. I owe Clayton an apology. Here's why. He was my boyfriend the for the summer between 9th and 10th grades. I had had one previous boyfriend, Nate, (pronounced with a distinct nasal-y tone), who taught me how to kiss. Basically, how Nate kissed was, he stuck his tongue inside my mouth and moved it around as fast as he could. I thought it was weird, and a little gross - but I also though that was kissing. When Clayton and I got together, he had never kissed anyone. I was supposed the be the expert on kissing, since I had been kissed at least a dozen times the summer before by Nate. Clayton and I were "going together" for 5 months. I spent most of these 5 months avoiding kissing. I was terrified to kiss him. TERRIFIED! One night we were saying goodbye on my front porch, and he started going in for the kiss. I panicked, yelled WAIT! and slapped my hand over his mouth. When he rolled his eyes and irritatedly said "What!" I said I had something important to say, but I had forgotten what it was. Sorry! Goodnight! And I ran in the house, shut the door, and left him standing there, probably bewildered and frustrated ( and maybe a little blue?) on my front porch. There were many moments like this in our 5 month courtship. We spent entire days alone at his house, perfect for making out - but I somehow avoided it. Until, one day, I didn't. We were at the church in front of my mom's house - and he was sneaky. Before I realized what was happening, his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes and did what I knew I had to do. I stuck my tongue in his mouth and moved it around as fast as I could. It was horrible. HORRIBLE! We kissed a few more disgusting times over the next couple of weeks, and then I couldn't take it anymore - so I broke up with him. (also, during the first week of 10th grade, he wore a turtleneck to school, which humiliated me, so that is the other reason I HAD to break up with him). He became one of the hottest guys in high school - and all I could think of every time I saw him was - I gave him the WORST first kiss experience EVER! Within a week of us breaking up, I was kissing all kinds of cute boys at school. Boys who knew how to kiss, and therefore, I learned how to kiss - and I have been embarrassed by my bad kissing with Clayton ever since. So, here is my list of apologies for Clayton:
1. Sorry I made your first kiss so yucky. Sorry I moved my tongue in your mouth so fast.
2. Sorry I didn't spend the entire 5 months we were dating kissing and making out. I really made you wait for that crappy kiss. I should have been less scared of kissing. We could have figured it out together - but I was too young and too nervous to do that.
3. Sorry I broke up with you for wearing a turtleneck. Not that you ever knew that was the real reason - but it was. I was so, so shallow. Obviously, a boy who will wait around for 4.5 months for his girlfriend to kiss him, deserves more than that. Its not like you beat me or tied me up with the turtleneck! You just wore it. Casually walked into school, proudly wearing a warm and comfy new shirt, and my respect for you squeezed right out of that tight little neck hole. I don't even remember why I had such strong feelings about turtlenecks, and why, instead of breaking up with you I didn't simply say - "take that shirt off. Lets make out"
4. Sorry I never grabbed you in the high-school hall after I had learned how to kiss and planted one on you - just to show you that I was better. I always wanted to. You were, after all, super hot.
Whew. Now I feel better. That has been eating at me since 10th grade.
9 comments:
Nice one! I'm going to e-mail a link for your blog to the South Jordan Fire Department. I remember feeling really bad for Clayton when you broke up with him. I thought the turtleneck was pretty bad too and for some reason I have this image of a emerald green turtleneck in my head. He was a really cute guy and a very loyal boyfriend. You were just mean.
LOL Mush! This is so funny. I really hope Clayton reads this and posts a comment.
When was this? Didn't turtlenecks get cute on men in like 2001? I remember Joey on Friends wearing one, then seeing them pop up all over Old Navy where I worked at the time, and wishing my then-boyf would try it out.
Clayton was fashion forward, that's all. And sometimes that equals gay, so maybe you dodged a bullet. Probably not though. Anyway, this was the cutest post.
OK, I realize how dumb my comment was. You said this was in high school, and it was very early in high school, and in turtleneck-friendly-2001 I was in college, and I think I read that you are older than me by a couple years, so I am imagining this story taking place around 1995 or something.
We do breakfast at blue plate diner every weekend. This is the second weekend in a row that I have picked up an entire water carafe and drank from it without realizing it. Maybe that puts the sophistication of my comment-leaving into perspective.
Kristin - let's see....I graduated high school in 1995 and this was the summer before 10th grade, so it must have been 1992. I don't remember anyone wearing turtlenecks back then - except for Clayton, and just this one time.
And, I am so jealous that you go to blue plate every weekend. Yum! I love their breakfast burrito.
HAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks for the giggles!
And for the record - that was exactly like MY first kiss experience! ;)
That's a long time to hold that in.
laughing my ass off...i love reading your stories...
hahahaha that is so freaking funny, I love it!
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