MushBellyBlog

My Most embarrassing moment

I have a lot of these. I manage to do something incredibly embarrassing most days of my life. This one happened a few years ago - but I still think its the best one yet.


Lucy was about 4 months old, and I was looking for a new birth control. I didn't think I could reliably take a pill every single day, so I needed something easier. I was at the pharmacy and noticed a box of spermicidal films. They are these little, 2 inch square films that you place inside your vagina 15 minutes before having intercourse. It dissolves and leaves a barrier of spermicide to kill any sperm that come swimming by. I grabbed a box and took it up to the pharmacist technician to ask some questions about the effectiveness of this type of birth control. I handed the girl behind the counter the box and asked "how effective is this product?" She looked at the box, and then looked at me a little uncomfortably and said "I think it works pretty well" This answer was not sufficient for me. I wanted statistics, percentages! I rephrased the question. "I need to know how effective this is. I need something that is going to really work" Again, the girl behind the counter seemed a little uncomfortable. She volunteered to go get the pharmacist to see if he could better answer my question. The pharmacist came and I posed the same question. "How effective is this? I need to make sure I'm using something that is VERY effective. Is this going to work?" The pharmacist replied, "yes, it should work fine" WTF! Why will no one give me a straight answer? I got a little exasperated and said "Look! I just had a baby a few months ago. I am NOT ready to get pregnant again. I don't want to use something for birth control that doesn't have a very high effective rate. Can't you give me some kind of statistic or percentage on the effectiveness of this particular kind of birth control? (!!!!!) The pharmacist replied with a smirk, "I think you grabbed the wrong box. These are vaginal cleansing films."

VAGINAL CLEANSING FILMS!!!

So, here I am, asking, begging for the pharmacist tech and the pharmacist to calm my fears and tell me that these films will cleanse my vagina effectively. I must have a SERIOUS problem with vaginal hygiene, since I was not willing to take a simple "it should work fine" for an answer.

Every time I go into that pharmacy (yes, I still go there, and the same pharmacist still works there) I feel the need the casually mention how sanitary and CLEAN my vagina is, just in case he has any lingering doubt.