Empty
I need to read more of the female brain book so I can understand why I feel so hopeless today. Nothing bad is going on in my life. I have no tragedies to complain about. No sickness (well, a slight cold, but nothing big). I have a beautiful house, a loving (and hot) husband, the most adorable, funny, witty little girls, and the best friends and family a girl could have. So why then, today, do I feel like crying? I am bored with my life. I haven't accomplished anything great. I thought that having kids would by my crowing accomplishment. I thought it would bring ultimate fulfillment to my life. I thought being a mother and a wife would satisfy me completely. I feel guilty that they don't. I feel guilty that I don't take my kids to the park or the zoo enough. I feel guilty that I snap at my husband. I feel guilty that I am 20 (or 30, lets be honest here) pounds overweight. I feel guilty that I spend money like we are rich, when we aren't. I feel guilty that I am at work, and instead of working I am updating my blog. I realize that I am just a hormonal wreck right now. And probably tomorrow I will be feeling sunny, happy, lighthearted, and like I could take on the world. But today, I think I will have a good cry.
6 comments:
I'm sitting right next to you as you are probably updating more of your post, but... just so you know... these are normal feelings to have and if you can look at them with that in mind, it makes it much easier to cope. I also feel like a total hag today, want to do destructive things and instead, I'm putting on a fake smile and acting like everything is ok. I know it will be soon though. I find that certain days are so much more difficult to deal with and you feel it is almost impossible to be satisfied with life. Something that felt like a tickle a week ago can suddenly feel like and itch you just cannot scratch. It bloody sucks! Just know that you are supported and loved regardless of the current mood that dominates the day. Love Ya!!!
I think this happens to me too. I think last time I wanted to leave Phil and then a week later I got my period, the one time a year I do get it. I always wonder why every once in a while I feel so worthless and dull.
That book is def. on my amazon list.
How are you doing today? btw, I miss our friendship.
You're not alone in this. I experience this feeling especially around my period. You know you should be happy, but you just can't be and you don't know why. All you feel like doing is crying and it's so hard to focus on anything else. Everything seems so gloomy and that you are all alone, but if you ever need someone to talk to I am always there. And you don't need to "fake it" around me. If you are feeling bitchy or feel like crying, let it loose. I can handle it..That's what friends are for.
I am loved! Thanks girls. I love you all. I know that its just hormones. Today is day two of the dreadful cycle. I will be better tomorrow.
I miss you too Maire. I don't know why we haven't been talking as much lately. I still love you!
I think we all feel that way at some time or another. I know a year or so ago I was SO DEPRESSED, because I just felt very stagnant in my life. I wasn't growing, or learning, or bettering myself. I was just "mom", and "housekeeper". Going through MT school is really helping because I'm actually learning, and using my brain. I know that in the end it will benefit my family, AND myself. I think you need a project Mush, or a new hobby. Hang in there hon! Big hugs from me!
Read the book. It will totally explain everything. I love you, you are amazing and have a wonderful life.
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